Monday, November 26, 2012
Kinda bitter sweet feeling having led my last youth jam today :')
I'm glad that I'm moving on to places where I can start growing again. Sad that this is one of the milestones which would mark the nearing of the end of my super long journey with the youth ministry. So, today was my last jam. It was kind of a nice occurrence that my rehearsals for this week got re-scheduled and I was able to go for jam.
No doubt there were some unpleasant things that had happened just before jam with some leader that nearly had me angry with tears. I angrily mouthed off my frustrations to a friend (and tried hard not to break out in tears) before pushing the emotions down and starting the jam.
But being able to teach the youths, knowing that I've made an impact in their lives, it's irreplaceable. Being able to jam as and how I like, working with other leaders who are there to impart and to have fun too, it made the whole time enjoyable. I wished I had more chances to lead these jams. I know that when I finally move on, I won't get the chance to lead jams like that. Also, even if I do get the chance in the long future, I won't be able to plan the sessions the way I do for the youths.
I'm actually quite enjoying tying up all my loose ends and being extra busy. As I finish off my work with each youth/ministry, I can really see that I've done something good for that person. And I'm okay with the busyness and lack of sleep, because I know it's just going to be for another month or so and that's it.
Therefore, I'm putting in all I can now, to influence and impart as much of myself as possible. But I know that I must be very careful not to let any of the youths get over-dependent on me now, otherwise it'd be worse when I leave.
Just wondering now, how to handle my photo youths. It's a small group, but I still need to properly hand them over. However, when I asked if anyone was taking over from me, all I got was silence. While I don't really bother that much, I care that my youths do need someone to take charge of the team so that they are free to grow. Oh well, this is one of the issue that perhaps I'm not able to resolve so easily.
I'm glad that I'm moving on to places where I can start growing again. Sad that this is one of the milestones which would mark the nearing of the end of my super long journey with the youth ministry. So, today was my last jam. It was kind of a nice occurrence that my rehearsals for this week got re-scheduled and I was able to go for jam.
No doubt there were some unpleasant things that had happened just before jam with some leader that nearly had me angry with tears. I angrily mouthed off my frustrations to a friend (and tried hard not to break out in tears) before pushing the emotions down and starting the jam.
But being able to teach the youths, knowing that I've made an impact in their lives, it's irreplaceable. Being able to jam as and how I like, working with other leaders who are there to impart and to have fun too, it made the whole time enjoyable. I wished I had more chances to lead these jams. I know that when I finally move on, I won't get the chance to lead jams like that. Also, even if I do get the chance in the long future, I won't be able to plan the sessions the way I do for the youths.
I'm actually quite enjoying tying up all my loose ends and being extra busy. As I finish off my work with each youth/ministry, I can really see that I've done something good for that person. And I'm okay with the busyness and lack of sleep, because I know it's just going to be for another month or so and that's it.
Therefore, I'm putting in all I can now, to influence and impart as much of myself as possible. But I know that I must be very careful not to let any of the youths get over-dependent on me now, otherwise it'd be worse when I leave.
Just wondering now, how to handle my photo youths. It's a small group, but I still need to properly hand them over. However, when I asked if anyone was taking over from me, all I got was silence. While I don't really bother that much, I care that my youths do need someone to take charge of the team so that they are free to grow. Oh well, this is one of the issue that perhaps I'm not able to resolve so easily.
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