Monday, April 14, 2008
Honestly I'm tired. It's about being in the right place at the right time. And not just that, but also talking only when necessary. It's the times where I keep quiet, fade into the background, and observe. That's when I learn a lot of things. Things that should have been obvious to me for a long while but I refused to admit. Then I learn. And I acknowledge. Unfortunately, this also reminds me how much of a fool I've been. If anything, I only see how much I've been taken for granted. Not that I like praise and appreciation, but I'd like to at least know that I exist. I also realise how much I've been used. And I have absolutely no idea why, but I allow myself to continue being used. Perhaps I'm just too lazy to make any move. Not really a comfort zone, but I just don't feel like making the effort to get out. And I allow myself to be the idiot once again.
But I don't blame anyone. It's no one's fault but mine. It's about not being good enough. Being average all the time equates to being predictable. Being predictable means I don't matter anymore. Oh well. Not that I'm going to do anything about it anyway. Perhaps I should start running. Will that work?
Bottomline: Keep quiet, listen, observe, acknowledge, admit defeat. Good life.
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