Friday, December 28, 2007
Dear blog, I'm sorry for neglecting you. I'm back with a post + photo.
I was at the bus stop just now, and just wondering to myself. I must be a living contradiction. I hate telling people how I feel, yet I barely blink an eye when I rant it all out on my blog. Ok maybe it's a generalisation, but I realise that I say much more when it comes to my blog as compared with when I'm facing real people. Maybe when I blog, I tend to put aside the fact that people do read this. Ah well!
Christmas is just over. Christmas without Christ is mas. So Xmas is......? Who is X then? =D I've received a lot of cards this year. In all honesty I love receiving cards. Cards with real words on them and not obligatory words. I tried to write cards this year for a few of my friends. Must say it was tough. I'm not a person of words, unless it comes to programming. I don't express my feelings well enough, I can't write. But I forced myself to. But also, this Christmas was really weird. I received a really insincere present. If people give me presents I shouldn't be complaining. Much as I love the fact that at least people remember me, I hate insincerity. I shall not say too much. Let's just say that I was so tempted to return the present but I figured that would be really rude so I just kept my mouth shut.
I just got back my exam results. I really don't get it. The harder I study it seems, the worse I do. I'm actually pretty sad now because my cap once again dropped. And pretty much this time. I have no idea what I should do now. Study harder? But I nearly collapsed last sem studying for my papers. It's really bad. I'm in the midst of choosing my modules for next sem. Much as I'd love to take easy modules with a much lighter workload, things are never so simple (since when are they?) The modules all clash, so I may be taking 2 programming , 2 math, and 1 information tech module. Workload may very well be 2x as heavy as last sem's, I hope I'll survive it all. Not as though I do nothing else outside of school. Friends if you're reading this, please jio me for dinner as much as possible. I'd need the destressing! Plus everyday should be 10am earliest, so I can afford to go out =D (aside from having to do my hw)
I... am starting to see the stupidity of my many actions. Be it regarding myself, my relationships, or my ministry. I made decisions back then that seemed to be the way to go, but now, I'm beginning to see how nothing would work out because I should not trust myself to do anything right. Then again, what's new? Many times I question myself as to what I'm doing with my life. But as always, I don't have an answer because, I have no idea. My life's aimless? I don't know. But all I know is that I've got a resolution to stick to. Tough, but I have to do it. May my heart not die soon, I've been holding in a lot for too long.
I was at the bus stop just now, and just wondering to myself. I must be a living contradiction. I hate telling people how I feel, yet I barely blink an eye when I rant it all out on my blog. Ok maybe it's a generalisation, but I realise that I say much more when it comes to my blog as compared with when I'm facing real people. Maybe when I blog, I tend to put aside the fact that people do read this. Ah well!
Christmas is just over. Christmas without Christ is mas. So Xmas is......? Who is X then? =D I've received a lot of cards this year. In all honesty I love receiving cards. Cards with real words on them and not obligatory words. I tried to write cards this year for a few of my friends. Must say it was tough. I'm not a person of words, unless it comes to programming. I don't express my feelings well enough, I can't write. But I forced myself to. But also, this Christmas was really weird. I received a really insincere present. If people give me presents I shouldn't be complaining. Much as I love the fact that at least people remember me, I hate insincerity. I shall not say too much. Let's just say that I was so tempted to return the present but I figured that would be really rude so I just kept my mouth shut.
I just got back my exam results. I really don't get it. The harder I study it seems, the worse I do. I'm actually pretty sad now because my cap once again dropped. And pretty much this time. I have no idea what I should do now. Study harder? But I nearly collapsed last sem studying for my papers. It's really bad. I'm in the midst of choosing my modules for next sem. Much as I'd love to take easy modules with a much lighter workload, things are never so simple (since when are they?) The modules all clash, so I may be taking 2 programming , 2 math, and 1 information tech module. Workload may very well be 2x as heavy as last sem's, I hope I'll survive it all. Not as though I do nothing else outside of school. Friends if you're reading this, please jio me for dinner as much as possible. I'd need the destressing! Plus everyday should be 10am earliest, so I can afford to go out =D (aside from having to do my hw)
I... am starting to see the stupidity of my many actions. Be it regarding myself, my relationships, or my ministry. I made decisions back then that seemed to be the way to go, but now, I'm beginning to see how nothing would work out because I should not trust myself to do anything right. Then again, what's new? Many times I question myself as to what I'm doing with my life. But as always, I don't have an answer because, I have no idea. My life's aimless? I don't know. But all I know is that I've got a resolution to stick to. Tough, but I have to do it. May my heart not die soon, I've been holding in a lot for too long.
Taken on an overhead bridge at 10.52pm, 26th Dec 2007 near Mich the pink's place.
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