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Friday, February 09, 2007

I have an urge to spend a good amount of time lying on my bed and crying my eyes out. But I can't. Tears no longer fall freely as they used to.
I have an urge to simply disappear from church and see who cared. But I won't. I understand my responsibilities, and part of me is afraid to know the answer.
I have an urge to pull away from all friendships I have formed, since getting close to people means pain. But I can't. I need at least some people I can say hi to.
I have an urge to sleep through the rest of the year and not worry about school. But I won't. I won't disappoint those who expect me to excel in school.
I have an urge to exist and not live. But I can't. I would die without realizing it so.
I have an urge to simply shut off my emotions and my thoughts to anyone else. That I will do. I'm used to doing so.
I have an urge to comparmentalise my life so that no victories or failures can affect any other segment. I'm on my way there.
I have an urge to reciprocate any form of treatment given to me from others. That I'm good at. It's a form of self-defence.

# Mad was still sane @ 12:02 AM
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